Jalan Duta High Court and Singing Chickens

Strange things happen at the Jalan Duta High Court. However, you may not experience them if you go there expecting to find them. For they are strange, but they are also shy.

In my experience, I learnt why they say that Court is where justice is served, and dreams come true.

One wrong turn on a Thursday afternoon was all it took to change my life forever.

One minute I was passing wooden doors marked “Dagang 5” … “Dagang 6” … and the next, the signs got more colourful, and I was passing doors with pictures of barn animals on them.

I looked back, as people often do when they are confused. (Actually, I don’t know why we do this. Being aware of where you’ve come from does not necessarily tell you why you are here now or where you are headed.)

Anyway, the corridor had vanished, and all that was left behind me was a red brick wall.

When I looked forward again, everything else had also vanished, except for three doors with pictures of a chicken, a cow, and a pig on them respectively. I chose the door with the pig because I had once read a fun fact that pigs and light-coloured horses are the only two mammals besides humans that can get sun-burned. This, to me, was also the safest choice as scientists believe that the closest living relative to the Tyrannosaurs Rex is the chicken, and cows are dangerous because in Columbia, a cow once committed murder after it stepped on a loaded rifle and shot another cow in the head.

As I walked into what appeared to be a large room of whiteness, I noticed that with every step forward, the floor had become less solid. Before I could articulate this strange sensation, it had changed altogether, and I found myself struggling in a sea of marmalade!

I had to start swimming, and this was very difficult indeed. As you can imagine, swimming in water is hard enough if one is not a very good swimmer, but given its texture, marmalade aquatics, if one lacks the stamina, is anything but easy. I was glad when I saw a bit of land in the distance. I made my way towards it and climbed out of the marmalade.

It took me exactly four minutes and twenty-two seconds to catch my breath. And another minute and eighteen seconds to realise that I had landed on a giant biscuit. I didn’t have time to put this into perspective because the Kissing Bandit had appeared. Many moons ago, he had proposed and I had turned him down. Not because I didn’t love him, but because he only owned two singing chickens and I was not about to marry a man with less than five. This may sound shallow to you, but is it not every girl’s dream to have a chicken quintet at her wedding?

He walked slowly towards me with a kind smile on his face. I was instantly reminded of why I had fallen in love with him in the first place, even though I had worked very hard to forget.

I was out of my comfort zone, unsure of whether we were on cookie dough or shortbread, when suddenly his eyes started glowing. After a while, they began to project light, and I was suddenly cross-legged, in my Superman pyjamas, on a bear-skin rug, watching “Gone With The Wind” on a giant screen.

For the next hour and a half I forgot all my troubles and felt a lightness like I had never felt before. I forgot the pressure of the future, I forgot about the KG file, I forgot about lunch with Dato’ Rahman. I felt completely detached from reality. In that short window of time, I also forgave my father and made a mental note to visit my estranged grandmother in Kulim.

At intermission, the Kissing Bandit told me that his uncle had died and left him two singing chickens. He asked if I would mind having a quartet instead. For the first time in years, I felt relaxed, and was more in love with him than I had ever been. So I smiled and said “Yes”.

I can’t remember how we got out of the sea of marmalade, but we now live in a little house on an island off the coast of Terengganu where I sell ice cream to deserving children and write mystery novels. The Kissing Bandit and the chickens perform every weekend at the Berjaya Redang Beach Resort.

I hope that you too will find your miracle someday.