I’m writing this piece in the spirit of His Supreme Eminence Lord Bobo Barnabus (tremble upon his fiery name!). As one of his many new minions, I’ve been moved by him to write on why all voters in Kajang should vote for Lord Bobo in the Kajang by-election.
On January 27, the incumbent assemblyman Lee Chin Cheh from PKR announced his sudden resignation as the assemblyman for Kajang. It was said that this was planned to give way to Anwar Ibrahim. The decision was made because apparently Pakatan Rakyat (mostly PKR) is planning something big! Something called the ‘Kajang Move’.
I couldn’t help but to ask Lord Bobo for his opinion regarding the matter; being one cool supreme lord, his answer was simple — “The big plan is to help reduce the price of Kajang Satay, thus use it to heal the inner party struggle, obviously.” Charmed by his wisdom and eloquence, we minions have decided to ask him to contest in the Kajang by-election. This of course, was graciously accepted by Lord Bobo.
So I am calling out to all voters in Kajang; vote for Lord Bobo!
If you’re not yet convinced that His Supreme Eminenceness is the best candidate, I shall take you on a journey to discover Lord Bobo.
Some might say that His Supreme Eminenceness Lord Bobo Barnabus (or you can just call him Lord Bobo, don’t worry he won’t bite) is just a fictional monkey in a barrister’s wig. Some might say he exists solely in Cyberspace.
Whoever he is, we the minions can say without a doubt that he is a fighter, a lover, a defender of justice and a symbol of responsibility and thoughtfulness.
Lord Bobo is here because he cares about the future of the rakyat. He wants Malaysia to be more than what it is right now. He wishes Malaysians were kind and polite to each other, helping the poor and needy, talking with love and respect, and to stop the vicious name-calling over religion and race.
So dear voters, vote for Lord Bobo and you will never again hear the names of ISMA, PERKASA or any other “RAKSASA”. Though it is confirmed that Cookie Monster falls under the exception, because who doesn’t like cookies?
He is here because he wants to get rid of injustice. He wants to bring down the whole idea of bribery, bigotry and corruption. Those who use the people’s money without guilt shall be punished and ask to get out from the country! As for the loyals and nobles, His Supreme Eminenceness shall remunerate them with lots of purple bananas. This I assure you is better than BR1M. *wink wink*
Do you know that Lord Bobo is also your biggest chance to get rid of our incompetent government? By voting him in, you will see how he tries his best to do that by bringing up the hot issue; gerrymandering. By exposing this issue, you will learn about how Barisan Nasional has been using this dirty tactic to grab a hold of their positions in the government. With this, he can make sure that our elections in the future will be held in a clean manner and with dignity. By this, we can definitely move up our position in the Electoral Integrity Project rather than being ranked just above countries like Zimbabwe, Congo and Angola.
Another credential to support his candidacy in Kajang is that he is known to be very knowledgeable. If Azmin Ali feels the need to post a picture of him reading Mao’s Last Revolution as proof to the people that he reads, Lord Bobo’s army of LoyarBurokkers are ready to give a solid proof that His Supreme has the complete version of Malaysian Law Journal, in his mind. He can recite the entire Federal Constitution word for word.
This by far is what makes him eligible to contest, because he knows your rights and he’s willing to fight for it!
So dear voters, vote for Lord Bobo because he only wants the best for all of you. To be someone who uses the taxpayers’ money to bring developments, not using them to buy pretty car plates numbers. He will get rid of the unfair gerrymandering and make sure that a free and fair electoral system in Malaysia is possible. Lord Bobo is doing this for all of you, and you only. And you can return the favor by just giving him dozens of purple bananas (or your votes).
Yes, minions, in an alternate reality Lord Bobo will be running in (and winning) the Kajang elections! Heed his call to banish gerrymandering by visiting http://sekolahaktivisme.org/. You know resistance is futile.
Also read: “Dear Paprika: Lord Bobo For Kajang!“