The Great Malaysian Plot Twists

Michelle Chan ends a two-year hiatus.

A good friend of mine recently pointed out that I have not written on LoyarBurok in a while. How kind of him, because ‘a while’ is one big, fat understatement.

As a matter of fact, my last post was two years ago. What happened to the girl who rallied on the streets of the great Kuala Lumpur city and flew across continents to be a first-time voter? What happened to the indignant pain that was bleeding from her fingertips and onto the world wide web? What happened to her fight? Was it hangat-hangat tahi ayam ah? Did she join the dark side because they had kangkung?

Chup for a while.

Before you continue, I must forewarn you that views expressed here are the personal opinion of yours truly and yours truly alone, and you may or may not be uncomfortable reading depending on how ethically and/or morally flexible you are. I am not responsible for however limited or expansive your perspectives are.

I have also been told by family and friends that my views on our beloved homeland are an acquired taste. Well, if you don’t like it, go and acquire some taste!

Bruised ambitions and crossed heart post-GE13, I understood that they are us and we are them. No matter the results of each GE, our destiny remains bounded together as Malaysians. The storytelling of Malaysia will always be about us all even if some characters have higher hair or are sometimes just not there. Hopeful, I thought that we can be diplomatic, if not civilised, until we reach the next chapter. Meanwhile, we have other things to worry about (i.e. Sabah quake!).

While this twentysomething is trying to be Calibri 11, I was trying to remain a diplomatic blinking cursor, regardless of whether I was Mt Extra or Symbol, bold, or even italicised. I had confused disappointment with silence and silence with busy, so I got busy. I was busied by earning enough every month to pay for my student loan after paying my income tax. Recently, I got busier paying for the Fatwa-approved 6% GST, which burden is as widespread as a pandemic disease.

Getting busy with one’s own life can eclipse the gunk that expels out of our parliamentarians’ mouths. Surely, it will be well-utilised on comedy nights. When #1MDBmovies arrived, it felt stranger than fiction. The undercurrent of shame is strong. We are laughing at ourselves, friends! The alleged 1MDB scandal happened because we were too busy to look beyond our own comfort zones and too cowardly to burn bridges that will light the way. Who’s representing you in Parliament now?

The past two weeks in Malaysia has seen the most progressive narrative and the richest character developments. I do not know about you all, but the great Malaysian plot twists have gotten my panties in a twist and stress balls in fists — Fire in the police headquarters! Criminal Investigation and Narcotics Department, at that! Reshuffle in the Malaysian Cabinet! Even when it comes to The Edge reveals, heed the fine print! Because you can trust no one but yourself now.

Trust yourself enough to learn of the truth about lies even if knowledge carries responsibilities. Trust yourself enough to know your position of power and underscore and highlight the rightful matters. Trust yourself enough to stop being the diplomatic blinking cursor and rewrite the unforgivable. Trust yourself enough to be able to win hearts with hearts because good intention will triumph. Trust yourself enough to fight the good fight.

Dear Mr Najib Razak, trust yourself enough to admit to your shortcomings as you have remained the worst politician I have personally met since my 2013 open letter to you. I do not and will not despise you for fostering this ruin of a dysfunctional parliament and stagflation. Your term of prime ministership is a disabling structure that will shape our possibilities. You may think that you are a special snowflake, but you are just like the rest of us Malaysians, trying to make the most out of our days. The difference is that you have abused your position of power treacherously while conveniently neglecting your sworn duties. How dare you shit talk at us? How dare you pocket more than RM22,500.00 per month (on paper) while allowing minimum wage for Peninsula Malaysia to be RM900.00 per month and Sabah, Sarawak and Labuan to be RM800.00 only? How dare your incompetent hands grip onto that Ministry of Finance portfolio so tightly?

Alas, we are all in this together; this I know surely. I am not here to preach the severity of the alleged 1MDB scandal because the comprehensive trail of money laundering proposed by The Edge is beyond my capacity to discuss. I am telling you to sit up straight and pay attention and ask questions now. Else, perhaps plot twist(!), you will find yourself to have left for another country with better opportunities, but our Malaysian ‘lah’s is a stubborn compass that will always point to home.

I write this for the good in people, for Malaysia, and for my 18-year-old self who was ever so enraptured by our politics day and night. I write this with love — Malaysia, you are going to be 52 years old really soon. Grow the fuck up.